Winnie the Pooh has never had a shortage of friends, but there’s always been one that’s been a little less helpful than the rest. You guessed it: Eeyore. This donkey often has bad stuff happen to him that happens to no one else, but he’s also never been the guy you want to hang around very long.
He’s the kind of guy who could win the lottery and still be nonplussed about it. Let’s take a look at some of the ways Eeyore has been a stick in everyone’s eye.
“Eeyore’s Gloomy Place”
When The Many of Adventures of Winnie the Pooh begins, a storybook opens to introduce Christopher Robin’s friends. From the get-go, we can see where various characters like Rabbit, Kanga, and Roo live, each with the incorrect spelling of house (howse).
But not Eeyore. His area is simply indicated as “Eeyore’s Gloomy Place”. Wow, Eeyore, your house may not be much to look at (it is just a bunch of sticks, after all), but you’re so depressed you’ve got to make a point by calling it your “gloomy place”? Oh, bother.
Can’t Say A Proper Thank You
When we first meet Eeyore in The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, we see Christopher Robin reattaching Eeyore’s tail for presumably the umpteenth time. However, rather than just offering a simple “thank you” to Christopher Robin, he declares, “No matter. Probably lose [my tail] again.”
Now, Eeyore’s not wrong about this, but Christopher Robin is genuinely trying to help him out. Can’t you just show a modicum of real gratitude, dude? Christopher Robin could just say, “Forget it, you never keep it for long, anyway,” and just never go through the trouble again.
Constantly Loses His Tail
We’re all a bit forgetful at some point. We have busy lives. Whether it’s our wallet, our keys, or sometimes our minds, we’re bound to lose things at one time or another. But Eeyore takes the cake. Despite having his tail literally nailed to his behind, he is losing it all the time.
Perhaps if the tail simply was glued on or even sewed on and just got ripped, we could understand. Exactly how do you lose something that is nailed into you? Well, Eeyore does and seldom does he express real gratitude for someone reattaching it to him. Just get it tattooed on you, Eeyore, and call it a day. Everyone will thank you.
Thinks The Universe Revolves Around Him
In an episode of The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, a story is dedicated to Rabbit running away from the Hundred Acre Wood to someplace he believes he’ll be more appreciated. Upon watching Rabbit make his way out, Eeyore assumes that Rabbit is going on vacation and hasn’t invited him. He goes to tell Pooh and Christopher Robin and Pooh asks Eeyore to be quiet while they hunt “fluterbies.”
Instead of telling Pooh there are more important things at hand, like the disappearance of Rabbit, Eeyore just walks away and starts muttering about how he’s not like Rabbit who hitches a ride out of town on a truck. Really, Eeyore? You’re going to get upset about your friends shushing you and not make a plan with them to find Rabbit? Remind us to not go looking for you when you decide to go on “vacation”.
Gaslights Friends Constantly
Throughout New Adventures, there are so many conversations Eeyore has with his friends during which he’ll conclude the conversation with “Not that I’m complaining, mind ya”." If there was indeed a time that Eeyore wasn’t complaining about something, we could take this seriously. But, when everything you say is said like you’re either bored out of your mind or you’d rather be doing something else, this is simply bogus.
At least Oscar the Grouch knows he’s a grouch and doesn’t try to pretend otherwise. Eeyore, on the other hand, tries to pretend like he’s not moaning and groaning when it’s all he seems to live for.
Throws Rabbit Under The Bus
Ol’ Long Ears has it rough. Sure, he can be cantankerous at times, but, if you had a stuffed bear constantly harassing you for honey and then shaming you when you just want to create healthy boundaries, wouldn’t you be, too? In one episode of New Adventures, Rabbit decides to pretend his house is for sale by putting up a bunch of “4 sale” signs around the premises after Pooh has once again eaten him out of house and home.
When asked by Eeyore why he’s moving, Rabbit divulges his scheme to him. Not long after, Pooh unexpectedly shows up and asks Eeyore what’s going on. Rather than playing dumb and Pooh and Rabbit sort it out, Eeyore tells him Rabbit is moving away because of a particular “friend” who keeps taking his honey. Thankfully, Pooh is too thick to realize he is the “friend” in question, but, seriously, Eeyore? Some “friend” you are.
Party Pooper
During another episode of New Adventures, Tigger tries to get Eeyore to be more sociable with their friends and invites him into Rabbit’s house where a party is taking place. Inexplicably, Eeyore enters the house and simply keeps saying “hello” over and over. Now, not all of us are natural party-goers. It’s perfectly okay to be an introvert, but there is literally not a single being at this particular party that Eeyore has not spent a considerable amount of time around. C’mon Eeyore. Can’t you put forth just a little more effort?
Tigger 2.0
In that same episode of New Adventures, Eeyore takes notice of the fact that Tigger is perhaps the most sociable of all the stuffed animals in the Hundred Acre Wood. Tigger declares this is because he is so popular. Eeyore then decides to paint himself to look like Tigger (how he manages without the help of another party is mindblowing in and of itself).
Eeyore then goes on to wreak all the same emotional terrorism that Tigger is so fond of upon his friends, most notably upon Rabbit. Eeyore wrecks Rabbit’s house with most everyone else in it and simply slides out saying Tigger’s inimitable catchphrase, “TTFN!” Come on now, Eeyore. When you’ve out-Tiggered Tigger, you’ve outdone yourself.
Doesn’t Even Like Eating
In another episode of New Adventures, each one of Christopher Robin’s friends takes it upon themselves to make an effort to cheer up Eeyore. Pooh decides that his contribution will be eating with Eeyore, proceeding to stuff him full of honey.
Now, in fairness to Eeyore, Pooh gives him a ginormous jar that perhaps with which only Pooh would be content. But, hey, Eeyore? How often does Pooh actually have his own honey in his house? Couldn’t you at least feign gratitude to Pooh for not making you try to mooch more honey off of Rabbit?
Secretly Happy
Perhaps the worst thing that Eeyore does is that he actually refuses to be happy sometimes. The aforementioned episode ends with Eeyore confessing to Piglet that, in fact, the hill where everyone assumes he goes to pout and be gloomy is where beautiful cloud formations can be viewed. Everyone gets in on the fun and realizes what an amazing view it is.
Here we have the most solid evidence that Eeyore isn’t just a clinically depressed donkey; he is dour by choice at least some of the time. We’re not saying that you have to spend all your time on a hill looking at the clouds, but you could expend a little more effort into being happy, pal.
